"FEAR"

This chapter is the culmination of a lifetime of experiences, with most of them not being very pleasant, but all valuable with significant lessons learned along the way. I have been experiencing, and witnessing, many different types of fear intensely within the past 4-6 weeks, which tells me it is definitely time for this chapter.

Let us start at the beginning, and perhaps beyond.. We are all born into fear. Think about it for a moment. Even if a woman has natural childbirth, with no drugs or intrusions into the body, what a traumatic experience birth is for a baby. We all feel sorry for the mother, because she is able to describe her pain and agony, along with her fears. However, the child is unable to describe upon arrival what feelings both physical and emotional were felt. Once we grow up, all memory of the actual birthing has been wiped away from our conscious mind. This would lead us to believe that there is never any sure way of knowing'. However, being reasonable, rational adults, if we think about it we can imagine just what some of those feelings would have been.

How many people do you know who remember their own birth, without being regressed or hypnotized? My point is, there is as much trauma, if not more, going on for the infant as there is for the mother at birth. The parent understands what is happening, the infant doesn't. The infant has been sheltered and protected in its own little world for nine months. During that time, the child has literally been kept in the dark and floated in a sea of amniotic fluid. The child doesn't have to breathe, eat, excrete, or think for itself. All functions are automatic, with no conscious mental exertion required on the part of the infant. During that time the child is in a constant state of flux, but it is internal rather than external, so it is very natural.

Now, all of a sudden this infant is being pushed out of its familiar surroundings into a world of light, noise, and other people. To add to the trauma and confusion the child finds out immediately that all functions are different. The first thing we do is cut the cord, which now causes the child to start breathing through its nose. Some doctors still swat the baby (although I think this practice is almost completely gone), and now the child finds that it has lungs and can make noise. What about that noise? Have you ever floated in a pool with your ears in the water? If you have, you know that there is no more peaceful sound than that of water moving gently under you. This is what the child has had for nine months, but now there is noise. Not only noise from other people, but the noise that the child is making. What about physical pain that the child has probably never experienced before, at least at the hand of another.

In other words all five senses are immediately brought into focus. The child becomes hungry, a feeling it has not known before. Whenever food was needed it was provided, without the child having to ask or cry for it, or feel the hunger pains associated with hunger. Imagine the fear that is associated with this. Perhaps that is the reason that we blessedly can't remember the actual event, or the traumatic time directly afterwards. As unpleasant as it is for the mother, I think it is probably 100 times more unpleasant for the child.

My point here is that we are all born into fear. It starts at the very beginning of life on this planet, and follows us through childhood, into adulthood, in fact until death (with the ultimate major fear of life being that of death). No one gets away from fear. We learn to overcome fear, which is a means of controlling it.

When I said that it started at birth and beyond, I meant that we bring fears from other lifetimes into this one. I know that all reading my words may not believe in reincarnation, and that is your choice. However, I know for a fact that I brought a fear of heights called acrophobia into this lifetime with me from another.

My nightmares started when I was very young. The age I remember well was 5, when I started to understand what they meant. I would wake up screaming. The nightmare was always the same. I was on the edge of a cliff and was pushed off. I would fall screaming, feeling the earth coming up to meet me and feeling out of control, knowing that I was going to die and there was nothing that I could do to prevent it. I had always heard growing up (probably an old-wives tale) that if you ever died in one of your dreams you would die in reality. I am alive to tell you that this is not particularly true, at least it wasn't for me. I can't tell you how many times I hit bottom and felt my body lying there broken, knowing that I was dead.

As a child I refused to climb trees, go down slides, or go up to any height where I had to look down. My mother tried everything to get me over this fear, from bribery to punishment. Nothing worked, and I was the kid who didn't climb up high on the monkey bars, but stayed at the first level watching everyone else. Much later, after becoming an adult and entering the path, I found that in a past life I had been pushed off a cliff. As an adult, I have overcome my fear, but it is with me always, and it must be dealt with each time the occasion arises. It did not go away' just because I understood it and coped with it.

People make the mistake of thinking that once they understand their fear, and face it, then it goes away. I wish it were that simple, and perhaps for some it is. I can't say for sure, because I haven't met any people that this is true for, but it could happen. Much more common is the fact that the fear is always there lying dormant. I still get a weak feeling in my legs when going up in a glass elevator, but that doesn't stop me from going. I don't go out of my way to go up in one, but if it is there I don't turn and find another way.

I don't go looking for tall buildings to go up, but if we get a hotel room on the 20 floor, that is fine. My point is not to allow your fears to change your life in any way. When you do that you are allowing your fear to control you. I hate to fly, but I can't tell you how many times I have traveled from one side of the united states to the other in an airplane, usually alone.

A fear of heights, fear of water, fear of people, etc. are all large fears that need to be dealt with in order to live a free life. However, it is the little fears that can go by unnoticed and undetected, until someday they build up sufficiently to come to our attention.

There are fears that no one wants to talk about. There are fears that we keep hidden in the deep dark recesses of our heart and mind, with the constant nagging feeling that if they were brought out into the light of day they would become true and destroy us. There are fears that we are ashamed of, and afraid that someone might find out about. These are what I call double whammy fears.

We have fears that were instilled in us by our parents, society, peers, relatives or from bad experiences. Most fear comes from the feeling of being out of control. One of the reasons most people are afraid to fly is that feeling of no control. This is a legitimate fear, as you are literally putting your life in the hands of someone you have never met, and you are solely relying on the airlines (again faceless people you have never met) to have picked competent, sober, and drug free pilots.

Fears, like beliefs, can be outgrown. For instance, when I was a small child I was afraid of the dark. I always slept with my door opened a crack, so a small shaft of light could penetrate my room. I loved monster stories when I was young, and my father loved to tell them. My mother discouraged it, but my father could be counted on to tell the scariest stories as he tucked us into bed each night. I was always sure some monster was under the bed, or going to come through one of the windows. I never told my father my fears, because then he would have stopped telling the stories, and I loved them far too much to let my fear get in the way. However, I am no longer afraid of the dark, in fact I can't sleep well if there is a light on. I am not afraid of monsters, though I still love a good monster flick (they don't make good "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" anymore....hehehe).

Sometimes these fears merely shift. Instead of being afraid of monsters' in the dark we turn to being afraid of other people. These fears might be well grounded, especially considering where our society is today. It is not safe in most cities to be out alone walking at night. In fact, in a lot of cities it is not safe to be out walking alone during the day. This does not mean that you stop going out in public. What it does mean is that you are aware. You look around, and pay attention to what is going on around you.

As you can see, a lot of childhood fears are simply outgrown. However, if those fears aren't dealt with somewhere along the way they will merely change direction and grow with us. Fear of death is what keeps a lot of people from committing suicide when the going gets tough and they just want to give up. On the flip side, it is also the thing that holds people here trapped in a body that no longer works or is in constant pain, when they should let go and move on. The nursing homes are full of people who have long ago, for all intents and purposes, stopped living. It is only their body that remains hooked up to machines that keep the physical mechanics going.

When my mother became ill and went to the hospital I immediately left my home and traveled 34 hours to reach her. They had her hooked up to machines to keep her going. She waited until I got there, so that she could speak to me. After talking to me, she went into a coma. She had asked me to take her off of life support and let her die in peace. I acquiesced immediately, and she was removed from all life support. I will never forget how the nurses set up chairs in ICU so that the family could all be by her bedside, sure that she would die in a very short period of time without the machines. We all sat and waited, and the nurses served soft drinks. Nothing happened. We sat, and her blood pressure got stronger. The nurse was in shock because they felt that the Dopamine they were giving her was the only thing that was keeping her blood pressure up. After several hours of this, they asked that we move her into a private room, which we did.

I sat with my mother for seven days and nights with her on no medication, no food, no water, nothing. All of her bodily functions had shut down, and yet she lived on. The doctors and nurses could not understand it. I understood, she was afraid to die. She was afraid to let go, and until she could be convinced that it was going to be alright, and that we would be alright without her, she hung on. Do not ever underestimate fear, for when you do it has you in its grips, even in the end (especially in the end). Don't ever think that fear plays fair, because it doesn't. It preys on the mind when it is the most vulnerable and in the greatest amount of pain.

My grandmother was in and out of consciousness for one month before she moved on. She, too, was afraid to let go. I would go into her room to talk with her, and she would tell me that her mother and sister were there talking to her. I would talk to her about them, and let her know that it was okay for her to go with them. Finally, when she felt comfortable with death, she merely let go and let one final breath out.

Before we start looking at fear more closely, and how it affects the three different planes; spiritual, mental and physical, let's talk a little about fear itself. As I pointed out in the beginning of this chapter, we are each born into fear. What we do with it after that arrival is a very individual and personal experience. We can bring fears with us into this world from past lives (this is my belief and does not necessarily have to be yours), but even when we do we relate them immediately to this existence.

Fear is not a totally negative emotion, and have no doubt that it is pure emotion. I can think of no other emotion with as many different facets. There are many different types of love (which is another pure emotion) and hate (PE), but fear creeps into every aspect of our life, relationships, and totally can dictate the way we live our lives, if we aren't aware of it, and overcoming it at all times.

Some types of fear are good, and necessary for survival. For instance, it is good to be afraid to jump off of a 20 story building. It is good to be afraid to eat poison. It is good to fear getting in the car with a drunk driver. These are all types of fear that are put in place as a defense mechanism to ensure survival of the species. We teach our children to fear strangers, and not speak to them. This is a legitimate fear (unfortunately a sad footnote on our society) and can save the life of the child. You wouldn't want your child to overcome this type of fear, in fact you were probably the one who instilled it. However, if you are not careful as to how that fear is instilled, it can lead to the child growing into an adult that fears every person they meet, and trusts no one.

I think moderation comes into play here. A good fear that is meant to protect us, can also be used to keep us as prisoner if we take it too far. I think one of the key measuring devices we can use to make sure that we are in line with our fears, and not obsessing about them, is to take stock of our lives and see how much fear dictates the way we live.

I have seen houses, as I am sure all of you have, that have bars on the windows, doors, and elaborate alarm systems. This makes the occupants feel secure, however, I have to wonder who is in prison.... I also wonder how secure those same occupants would feel in case of a fire....

We teach our children at a young age to fear fire, but is it fire we are actually teaching them to fear, or the misuse of fire. Fire used correctly can save lives, cook meals, and make life livable on this planet, as the caveman discovered. However, fire misused can cause total and utter destruction, both of the body and the planet. Do we worship fire, as the ancient tribes did, or do we hate fire, as do forest rangers. Fire is neither to be worshiped or hated, as it just is. We control, through our actions, the warmth or destruction that fire causes. The same can be said of all the earth elements; water, wind, and the earth. The same earth that houses us and sustains our life force, can move and toss us around, causing total destruction and death in its' path.

I have also observed that different fears come at different growth times in our lives. For example; most young children are afraid of the dark. This seems to be a common fear that comes at a certain age, and leaves at a certain age. Another fear that I have observed to be age related' is the fear of crowds. I have noticed that when people get to a certain age, usually between 70-80, they become afraid of crowds and tend to do what society calls cocoon'. This means that they really don't want outside human contact. They are suspicious and afraid of people in general, because they feel more feeble and vulnerable. It is not because they no longer desire human contact, but because they fear human contact from strangers. These same people will watch talk shows, home shopping networks, religious broadcasts; anything where there are people talking to an audience. They then start to relate to these people, and feel that they are being spoken individually by them. They feel safe and secure, because they are in total control of their environment and the dealings that they have with the television (being able to turn it on or shut it off with a flick of the remote).

For example; my mother used to watch a very infamous religious couple on television. She never missed their show, and became a member of their different clubs', giving money to their different projects. My mother was not a rich woman, and went without things that would make her life comfortable in order to support' their work.

I will never forget the way she talked about these people. She would say to me; "Do you know what Jim said today?" and go on to tell me verbatim. It was as if she was personally having a conversation with Jim' through the tube. I tried to find out why she felt this way, and she told me that this couple were her friends' and that they cared about her. Even when their empire came tumbling down, and they were exposed for stealing and pilfering millions of dollars away, my mother found no fault in them'. The devil' was after them, and destroying their work. When Jim' admitted guilt, her response was that we all make mistakes and god forgives us, so who was she not to forgive him'.

Don't concentrate on these people, or their work, for this is not the reason I told you this story. Instead, look at the syndrome of fear that brings older people into this state of mind. These people were always there for her, all she had to do was turn on her set. When she didn't want them, she turned the set off. It removes all fear from rejection by others, and makes life safe' and comfortable' for the older person. They can have this relationship on their own terms, and it takes absolutely no physical or mental strain on their part to keep it going.

We have looked at a couple of fears for the very young, and the very old, now let's look at a few for the people in-between. Of course, all school age children have the fear of being rejected and taunted by their peers. This fear seems to grow with us, however, spilling over into the workplace when we are adults.

Teens probably have the worst fear of not being accepted. When you hit your twenties, you start to realize that you are going to age and, therefore, start to fear the future. Decisions that could be put off when you were young, now have to be made. Usually in their twenties if people have not found a mate, they start to worry that they never will.

Women in their 40's feel the time clock ticking, and if they have not already had children, either strongly consider having them, or just decide not to have them at all. Then there is the fear of aging....

As you can see the list goes on and on. If we can look at all these fears and relate, then we will realize that we are not alone. Everyone has these fears at very similar times in their lives. Just knowing that we are not the only ones on the planet going through these things will help to put the fears into perspective.

Fear is a two edged sword. It can be used for good, just as fire can, or it can totally destroy your life, as fire can. Remember; fear can stop us from doing things, but it can also motivate us into action'. The choice, as always is yours.

Let's look at fear on the three planes of existence and how it affects our lives on each of these planes. Let's start with the most obvious, and one that affects most of us everyday of our lives on this planet. Physical fear.

Physical fear is pretty easily defined. It encompasses any and all damage that can be done to the human body, up to and including death. For something so easily defined, it is one of the most complicated of the fears. It is a fear that is real, and in our face every day of our lives. When I say real', I mean that it is a fear that can be witnessed by anyone of our five senses. Sometimes the fear is justified and necessary. For example, if I am about to cross the street and see a bus coming; my eyes see the danger, inform my brain, and I don't step out in front of the bus. I am in bed, and smell smoke. My nose has informed me of danger, so I leave the house.

You say that this is just common sense that we were all born with, but I don't think so. These things have been ingrained in us since we were children. They are fears that were put in our minds to protect us from harming ourselves. A child does not instinctively know that fire is hot, and can burn them. They have to be taught, and warned of the danger over and over, until they understand and link the fear to the danger. The same is true for crossing the street. How many of us can remember our mother's or father's warning about when crossing the street look both ways'. The same words by millions of parents over centuries. It took time for that physical fear to be linked. The child does not learn about fire or crossing the street the first time they are told, so the lesson must be repeated over and over until they have ingrained it into their memory, and there is no longer a need to think about it, only to react.

The same is true for all other physical fears that are needed in order to keep us safe. Some of these fears we should outgrow, through understanding. However, there are fears that we need to keep our entire lives. For instance the fear of fire. We all use fire, but have a healthy respect for an out of control house or grass fire, and know enough to stay away and get help.

There are people who were born without any physical fear. They are an anomaly, and science has not even scratched the surface as to what causes this, other than a short of some sort in the circuitry of the brain. These people often hurt themselves, and often have to be protected because they do not understand danger or consequence. They also have a very high tolerance for pain, so they can injure themselves without even realizing they have. This is unusual, and most of us don't have to worry about it, because we have all felt pain and try to avoid it.

Each of us have our own unique physical reaction to fear. Some people are able to keep a cool head and deal with the situation without panicking. Others are unable to cope and try to hide. Still others just freeze, and are unable to move. I personally am one of those people who takes charge, and keeps cool until it is over, then I fall apart.

Most people deal well with physical fear, as far as injury goes, but their greatest physical fear is the ultimate one; death'. Most people do not deal well with this physical fear, and if you doubt that just go to a funeral. People say the stupidest things to those that are grieving, and someday I am going to write a book about these stupid comments. One of my favorites is, it is for the best'. Who thought up that stupid line, and then spread it around so all could repeat it over and over. I always marvel at the one, god needed them more than you did'. HELLOOOOO.....what about just saying they were a good person and will be missed'. That is comforting and what a person in the process of grieving really wants to hear; that their loved one made an impact on someone's life and will not be forgotten. Enough of this for now, I will climb off my soapbox. Please, just think when saying something to someone grieving. If nothing comes to mind, then say nothing, and just give a hug, smile and nod.

Physical fear, especially the fear of death, triggers other things. Suddenly, when people are faced with death they become very spiritual. Even during an emergency people become spiritual. It can also work the opposite way if a person is very ill, or in great pain. Some people become hardened, and blame the spiritual plane and everyone on it for their problem.

As you can see, all fear starts in the mind. It is implanted there either by others, circumstances, or our own very active imagination. This brings us to the next plane we are going to discuss, the mental plane.

Other than a natural reaction to fear, which fortunately for most of us doesn't happen too often, most fear starts in the mind. It may even start with a small seed, but when watered can grow to a giant tree. This is where we get into all the various kinds of fear, and why we don't all fear the same things. As I have said before, there are lessons to be learned from fear. Remember, what can cause great discomfort and fear in some causes pleasure in others. If we remember this, then we will also remember not to ever make light of or ridicule someone's fears just because they aren't our own.

For instance I have a fear of heights, which I have to continually keep a watchful eye on. However, I have no fear of water. I feel very comfortable in the water (perhaps it is because I can float standing up, and always have my head and neck out of the water). Whatever the reason, since a very young age I have loved water. I love to be in water, be near water, and prefer to live by the water. I don't fear boats or large vessels, and feel very comfortable when on board. I know many people, however, that are scared to death of water. They even hate taking baths because of this fear, and shower instead. They wouldn't think of going swimming, and the thought of getting on a boat doesn't even enter their minds.

If there is no physical reason for fear, then it has to be generated either on the mental or spiritual plane. Most fears are generated on the mental plane. We think about them, obsess about them, and generally cause them to become much worse then they really are. For instance, how many of us as children did not have the monsters under the bed and in the closet scenario'? This is a very common childhood fear, one which most of us mercifully outgrow. However, there are those who don't outgrow it. I know adults that are still afraid of the dark and have to leave a light on in order to sleep. Is this a real fear for physical well being, or is it a fear that has been planted and fed over the years?

Sometimes, fears like these become habits which are hard to break. Fears can become habits that we have grow so accustomed to, we get to the point where we almost feel comfortable with them. We don't even stop and think of what might be behind the fear anymore, but just leave the light on out of habit. We may have outgrown the fear, and forgotten to let it go because it has been ignored for so long, having found that leaving the light on was the solution to the problem. Remember, the light is not solving the problem, only treating the symptom.

As children, especially we in the baby boomer age, all got told about the boogie man. My mother wanted to make sure I did not talk to strangers. Her way of insuring this was to tell me that the man that walked down our sidewalk everyday gathering rags in his rag bag was the boogie man. This was easy for a young child to believe because he was dirty, disheveled, and looked as though he could definitely be the boogie man. As a result, as a child whenever I saw him coming I would run in the house and hide. I was very frightened of this man, because my mother had told me how the boogie man would take bad little boys and girls, put them in his rag bag, and then they would never be heard from again. I outgrew this fear, and learned that this was just the rag man trying to make a living the best way he knew how.

I tell you this little story to stress a point. In this day and age when we are all psychoanalyzing our childhood's, and blaming our parents for all of our real and imagined problems, it is easy to get stuck on blame rather than solution. My mother had her reasons for telling this story and instilling fear in me. It is up to me, as an adult thinking person, to deal with the reality of the situation, and deal with the fear. Finding out what caused the fear can be instrumental in dispelling it, or learning to control it. Blaming someone else for its inception is nonproductive, and resolves nothing.

All of our conscious thoughts, whether good or bad, originate in the brain. Mental fear can cause us to miss out on important lessons, and lose out on many important moments of our life. These fears start with the small ones that rule our everyday life, and go all the way up to the fear of death.

Some of these self-generated mental fears are; the fear of forgetting, fear of losing, fear of commitment, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of looking stupid, fear of rejection, fear of being judged, and the list goes on and on. These are the small fears, but the worst to deal with. Because they are small, we can live most of our lives with them, just coping with the circumstances of each incident, rather than with the fear itself. It takes digging to find the real reason for the fear, and even more work to overcome it. However, in the long run it is much less work than dealing with those circumstances of the incidents, which will be coming up on a daily basis until it is recognized and resolved. None of the circumstances putting these fears in our face day in and day out are accidents, but lessons which need to be learned before we can move along.

These fears stop us from doing things, and in many cases from even attempting to do things. People afraid of losing, rarely compete, losing all the important lessons learned from competing, including the lesson of losing. More is learned from a loss than any win; so can it truly be a loss? If you are convinced mentally that you cannot do something, then you are right you can't. You have defeated yourself before you have even started, and you will now have to overcome your fear of inadequacy before you can even attempt the feat.

Our minds can do very tricky things to us when it comes to fear. We build and rebuild scenarios, sometimes starting with a little fear and ending with a total case of paranoia. We have all talked to people like this. They are absolutely sure that Uncle Sam' is listening in on all their conversations, rerouting their e-mail, and some even believe they are being followed. I am sure that these paranoid feelings probably started out with a small amount of truth, which was quickly twisted around and built into the fear which they now live their lives under. This fear has blossomed into a very dark cloud, which follows them wherever they go. I am not saying that what they fear couldn't happen, but I am saying that if it happens it is very infrequently. To me everything has to have a purpose. I could believe their paranoia was well founded if these people had anything that the government wanted, such as secrets, inventions, information...... However, they are just like you and I, with no military secrets or reason for the government' to be interested in their lives. For them all of life is sinister and everyone is out to get them.

Television, believe it or not, is one of the worst culprits for encouraging this kind of behavior. I haven't looked at statistics, but I can bet you there were a lot fewer paranoid people before television was invented. Television builds fantasy around reality. It causes people to have ideas they would not have thought of left to their own concepts. This can be a two edged sword.

For some, it is a fountain of information and knowledge. I personally love the Discovery Channel, Learning Channel and Travel Channel. I have learned some of the most interesting things and travelled around the world, all from my recliner. It is amazing. However, the flip side of the coin is that I have seen stories that could make the most level headed person become paranoid if given half a chance.

Once again, for all of you who love television, I am not saying that television is bad, nor am I saying that we need more censorship. What I am saying is, that when it comes to viewing television we all need a large dose of common sense. Some people use television for an escape. They live their lives through the fantasy world of the big screen and get sucked up into the different scenarios as if they were reality. Funny thing happens when you start believing that fantasy is reality, it then becomes YOUR reality. That does not mean that there are people truly chasing' these paranoid people, or that the government is out to get' them, but in their mind these things are happening, therefore, it is their reality. You see it does not matter whether anyone else shares your reality with you, it is still your reality.

Paranoia is nothing more than a conglomeration of small fears that have been built up into an all consuming, life altering fear. There are otherwise normal' people who live their lives succumbing to this every day. You work along side these people, socialize with them, but probably only have a slight notion of what is truly going on in their lives or their heads. Most paranoid people tend to hide it very well. The ones out of control make themselves known fairly quickly, and usually end up under the care of a physician. All of these fears come from the mind; the mental plane.

Some fears are built out of boredom. For instance when you are a small child and have the fear of monsters' they don't start out under your bed. You build the fear until they are under your bed. They start out as just coming out at night, because it is dark then and you can't see them. However, before long they end up in the closet, because you can't see in there once it is dark, and then under the bed, because you can't see under there either. How many times have we laid in bed at night as children, and adults, thinking about different fears, and building scenarios around them? I know that I have many times. I know that I fell asleep with many of these scenarios when I was young, which also caused nightmares.

Our minds create our reality. It is what we live in, whether we realize it or not. If we realize it, then we have the opportunity to create our own reality consciously and with forethought. If we don't realize this fact, then we are living at the whim of our conscious mind, which acts as a computer and merely reacts to its surroundings and the stimulus fed to it. The problem with this is that things change as we grow, but that does not necessarily mean that we have consciously changed the formula to which we react to the stimulus fed to the brain.

Let's look at this for a moment. When we are children and we get hurt, the first thing we do is cry and scream. As children we learned that this behavior got us the most attention from adults (which, let's face it are sometimes hard to get the attention of), not to mention sympathy. This attention generally got the adults moving quickly, and whatever the problem was, from a scrape to a burn, got taken care of rapidly with the pain leaving faster. Now as adults (hopefully) we have learned a different formula. We have become more independent, therefore, when we get cut we immediately rush to the sink to run water over it, get out the peroxide, then bandage the wound. We no longer need to scream or cry for this attention (although most do have some words come out that they wouldn't ordinarily say...hehehe), and yet the problem is still being taken care of in a quick fashion.

Let's look at what has changed. The formula. The problem is the same, but the way we deal with it is different. Why is it different? Because we have grown, and with that growth have found different methods to deal with life. Now, let's suppose that we had noticed our growth, but had not put it into effect, in other words we had not notified our brain of this emotional growth, what would happen? Well, nothing different then what had been happening our entire life up until this moment. We would first scream, then run into the house crying. If we no longer lived with our parents we would then go to the significant other person in our lives, and act out the same scenario that worked with our parents. Now, this may be cute the first time, especially if it is a new relationship and we are enjoying the game of taking care of our mate. However, if this were to continue it would become annoying, and it wouldn't be long before the mate was telling you what you could do with your cut and advising you to do it (except perhaps not in such kind words).

You see, nothing stays the same. All things change, and this is for the better. It is much better to be able to take care of a problem then rely on someone else to do it for you. However, this information must be fed into the brain, just as it is into a computer.

The same holds true with our mental concept of fear. Fear is created in the brain and spread to the rest of the planes. A newborn baby if left to its own devices is born without fear. Bringing it into bright lights, being hit by a doctor, having people screaming and making faces at it can start the process of fear. However, the majority of fear a child acquires is taught by the parents. I am not saying that we need fearless children, quite the contrary. What I am saying is that those fears were implanted in the brain. As a parent you need to be careful of the fear you are planting, as an adult you need to realize that it is time to pull the weeds of fear your parents planted and replace them with flowers of love and acceptance.

Now you might think, if we created the fear with our minds then it should be easy to dismiss it...NOT. It depends on how long it has been there, and what fantasies we have built to go around it.

As a child I loved scary stories. My father was the king story teller of scary stories. Every night he would tell me a scary story and I loved to hear them. What he didn't realize was what those stories were doing to me. As a child I did not realize that it was the stories that were building the fear within. I had a front bedroom with two windows. One in front and one on the side. The one on the side faced the alley. I would lay in bed at night convinced that if I laid on my stomach someone was going to come in through the front and stab me in the back. If I laid on my side someone was going to come in the side window and stab me in the back. I would lay flat on my back looking toward the side window so that I would be ready for any circumstance. The fantasies I would build in my head over these mysterious' people who wanted me dead. I had no clue as to why they wanted me dead, but my father's stories told me there were people who just went around killing little girls, and I believed everything my father said.

Now my father had no idea what was going on in my head, as I never shared these fantasies. Big surprise... How many of us share our deepest fears with others. I feel the reason I didn't share mine were out of a feeling of superstition. If I put it into words, and told someone else, then it would come true. Another reason is out of fear of being laughed at or made fun of, which would not make my fear go away, just make me feel foolish for having it.

Both of these fears are valid, especially to a child. When we are children our whole world (at least for most of us) revolves around our parents. It is our parents that make all the decisions in our lives, and have total control over what we are allowed to do or not do, as the case may be. We want to please our parents and make them happy. Parents have a tendency to praise mature behavior, and make fun of child like behavior. This is one of the modern mysteries of the world. When children act like children we tell them to grow up. In reality most children are just acting the age they are, and if this were encouraged more, instead of discouraged, I feel we would have a much better handle on what is truly going on in the head of a child.

What happens when we grow up, however? Do we truly outgrow these childhood fears? Some we do, some we do not. It all depends on how deep an impression the fear has made on the life of the child. It is not just children who are susceptible to this. Through teaching the foundations course I have come across adults that had frightening encounters as adults, and have not been able to outgrow' them, but nursed them for years.

One of the prime examples that comes to mind is a woman who had watched the movie Psycho. She had watched the movie when it first came out, and was very frightened by it. It had been years since she had seen that movie, and the world had moved on to much scarier movies (those in color with the blood actually being bright red), but the movie lingered controlling a significant part of her life. She told me that for years she would not take a bath or shower without someone else being in the house, and even then she kept the door locked at all times. All the time she was in the bath or shower she felt uncomfortable, and hurried through. It got so bad as she grew older that she actually bought a large watch dog and would not take a shower/bath without him in the bathroom with her, with the door locked.

She had kept this inside all of these years and told no one, feeling that her family and friends would not understand and laugh at her. Having kept this a secret meant that she could discuss it with no one, so the mind kept feeding this fantasy until it had gotten to the point of only taking a shower/bath with a guard dog.

Once she talked about it, and got it out in the open, she realized what the fear was truly all about. It was the fear of vulnerability. When we are in the shower we are at our most vulnerable point physically. Hitchcock knew this when he directed the movie, and used it to his full advantage. I wonder how many other women have trouble taking a shower alone?

I watched the same movie, and must admit that most of the time if I am alone in the house taking a shower it at least passes my mind. I don't stop my routine, nor do I do anything different, but the thought does pass my mind. This only goes to show how powerful the mind truly is. That movie was made back in the 60's (at least that is when I saw it) and it is still having impact 36 years later. The next movies (sequels) were scary, but did not have the same impact. Hitchcock reached into the mind, found the most vulnerable place and struck. As a result, the movie was a big hit (let's face it people love to be scared in a controlled fashion), but it left many people with a fear that they refused to discuss with anyone. After going through the class, talking about the fear and working through it, she was able to once again take a normal shower/bath without having to have the dog present. This may not seem like a big deal to you or I, but it was very significant in her life and made a distinct difference.

The point here is that we can build fear out of anything, if we don't discuss it or bring it out into the open our mind feeds on it, building scenario after scenario. This is one of the reasons that we need to spend so much time on the mental plane when it comes to fear. Most of our fears generate on this plane, and are kept alive and healthy there.

Some of our worst fears are fed by the television and movies, especially the news. There is not a night goes by that you can't turn on the television to the nightly news and hear about murder, bombings, global catastrophe, and a myriad of other depressing scarey stories. It seems that our society has gotten to a point where we prefer bad news to good news. If you doubt this listen to the news closely. Usually at the end of the news cast there will be one (count them one) human interest story that has a happy ending, and is pleasant and uplifting to watch. Most of the time, the news is playing to our fears through sensationalism. The worse the catastrophe, the bigger the story.

The reason I am discussing all of these things in with the mental plane, is because these events all set us up for our mental fears, and the fantasies we build out of them accompany us every day of our lives. If we had not seen or heard about someone being shot, beaten up, raped, mutilated, or any other horrible thing that comes up on the news, or in theaters from coast to coast, we would not have a fear of it happening to us. Not only is a fear born in us that it will happen to us, but that it will happen to those we love and hold dear. We then spread our fear through our warnings to others. Is it any wonder that we live in a day and age of such violence, when it surrounds us everyday, either real or imagined?

Once again, I am not saying that all fear is negative, some of it is needed so that we are diligent, and take precautions for the survival of our physical bodies. However, anything should be done in moderation, and overdoing it causes much heartache, real or imagined pain, and problems.

We create our fears through our five senses. Most of our fears are connected with the survival of our bodies. It seems as though there is more fear generated for the survival of the body then there is for survival of the soul (I find this curious in and of itself). It is a circle, or what some may want to call a catch 22' situation. In order for our spirit to grow and advance we must learn to control our mind, and overcome our fears. Once our conscious mind becomes aware of our spirit, and the overall universal power within each of us, fear has already been overcome, and is no longer a significant issue. Then, it only stands to reason that fear must be dealt with foremost on the mental plane. It is this plane that generates fear, feeds fear, and allows fear to overcome our lives.

People build more fantasies about fear then they do about sex. If you doubt this, think back a minute. Does a day go by that you do not sit, or lay, (usually this happens at night when you are trying to go to sleep) in bed building scenarios in your head, usually about what has happened during the day. Thinking about these scenarios, can you remember how many dealt with some sort of fear? I have driven myself into a state of agitation thinking of things I should have said to someone, but now the opportunity was gone. The same holds true for fear. Most of these scenarios at night have to do with fears concerning work, money, relationships or a general fear of inadequacy, or rejection.

How many of you have gone to bed after seeing or hearing some terrible story about someone being raped, robbed, mugged, or killed, and laid wondering what you would have done in that same situation? How many times have you played scenarios over in your head where you were protecting yourself from an assailant, assuring yourself that you would be ready if the opportunity arose? It might not even be from hearing about a real murder, but perhaps one you saw on television. You lay in bed at night knowing that you would not be vulnerable if put in the same situation, but would be prepared. These are fears that you are playing out in your head, preparing your conscious mind to act if they should materialize into reality. This is not necessarily a negative thing, if it makes you feel safer. However, if it keeps you from getting to sleep and feeling secure, it is a problem.

Sometimes the scenario for me would just be that of common sense. Such as; how many times in a movie have you seen someone home alone, they hear a noise, open the door with no weapon in their hand or means to protect themselves, and look outside? However, that is not just on television, but a human condition. We are all curious, and sometimes our curiosity overwhelms us and we do stupid things. Thinking about the correct way to handle the situation, should it arise, is good because then you are prepared. However, if you find yourself obsessing over the situation, and still thinking about it long after you have put it to bed' so to speak, then you are building a fear and feeding it, perhaps even into reality.

Howard Hughes, one of the richest men in the world, developed such a fear of germs that he lived the remainder of his life in total misery. He was secluded from everyone, and wouldn't allow human touch for fear of germs. He wore gloves, and had a separate refrigerator that no one was allowed to touch but him. He was so thin when he died, some reports said he was a mere 90+ pounds, mainly because of his fear of germs, certainly not because he couldn't afford food. This man was considered a genius at one time, and yet he couldn't even keep his body nourished because of fears that kept him prisoner.

This is an extreme case, and most of us have never gone this far. However, we are still letting fear rule our lives in some aspect or another, even if it is on a much smaller scale. Always remember, no matter what the scenario, the fastest way to overcome fear is through understanding, whether it be of people or the situation.

The final plane we are going to look at, is the spiritual plane. I think that the main fear on this plane is the fear of the unknown. We have spent so much of our lives with the tangible that sometimes it is impossible to accept and learn from the intangible. We are taught that if we can't see it, hear it, smell it, taste it or feel it, then it does not exist. With this kind of education, is it any wonder that there exists a great fear of the spiritual world?

Let us go to the other extreme for a moment. Most organized religions have taught more through fear tactics then through love. There is the hell fire and brimstone tactic. Then there is the guilt tactic. Let us not forget the better than other beliefs' one. You know this one, it is the one where WE' are going to heaven but all of those other religions are going to hell. Don't underestimate this one, it is the thing that truly motivated me to look into other belief systems as a young child. I just could not accept the fact that my small religious sect (compared to the rest of the world Assembly of God was small) was the only one going to heaven. My particular sect preached that all others were going to hell (it didn't matter that over l/3rd of the world wasn't even Christian, let alone my particular sect).

There are more myths, folklores, old wives tales, and out and out lies about the spiritual plane, then on any other. Is it any wonder that most people are confused and don't know what to believe? As a result, most people believe nothing, and are open to everything. This in itself can make someone pretty fearful. Add to this a natural fear of death (a fear born with us in order for our species to survive) and you have the greatest fear known to mankind; the fear of after death'.

Many books have been written about NDE (near death experience), movies have been made, and yet there are no two that are exactly alike. What then are we supposed to believe? Once again, the only place to look for your answers are within. The only proof you will ever need lies within, not without. Don't look towards the answers of others, but the answers for you.

The amazing thing is (at least I find it amazing) when it comes to the spiritual plane more people are afraid about what happens when the body dies and the spirit leaves it, then they are about the ignorance they have lived in most of their lives concerning the spirit.

When you stop long enough to realize that the spirit goes on forever, it puts all of the physical into a totally different perspective. Life and death are not the main attractions anymore, but growth and awareness of the spirit. What have you done for your spirit lately to ensure its' growth?

There is much that goes on in the spiritual plane that most people are unaware of. Some people have had frightening experiences, but most of the time those experiences are a direct result of them tampering with something that they have absolutely no idea about. There are rules on the spiritual plane just as there are for the physical and mental. One who had never seen a car before would not just jump behind the wheel and start to drive (at least to be safe they wouldn't). This would be considered foolish, as there are certain things to learn about the car, how to drive it, and the rules needed to drive safely on the road with others. Why then is the spiritual taken so lightly?

People have come to me and wanted to learn how to astrally travel. Most don't want to learn to advance their spiritual awareness on this physical plane, but want to learn astral travel because it could be fun' to visit other places. I will tell you what I tell them. There is a sequence of life lessons to go through before one is ready to leave their body for any reason. Skip any of the lessons, and you put yourself; body, mind and spirit in danger. This is not a child's game. If you have not come to grips with yourself and your reality, then you are not ready to astrally project. If you are not into heavy meditation, and made contact with your higher self and/or your spirit guide, you are not ready to astrally project. This is all I will say on the subject in this book. Most will not ever face significant danger on the spiritual plane, and those that do, choose it.

I am going to go into some detail for those with fears of the spiritual plane. Most people fear this plane because they do not understand it. Sometimes this fear can be a great deterrent to your growth. Everyone has psychic experiences throughout their lives, and as I stated earlier, are given more than one point of belief. However, these experiences are ignored or pushed away most of the time because of fear. For instance, most people have the feeling at one time or anther that they been somewhere before, and yet this is the first time they have visited this place in their physical bodies. Most people have the experience of thinking of someone, and that person calls them. Knowing what someone is going to say before they say it, and the list goes on and on. These experiences come often in our lives, but once we push them away they come less and less frequently.

When I was a child I saw auras perfectly clear, and with color. My parents discouraged this, and knowing that it displeased them I simply quit seeing auras. My memories of this are vague, as I was very young. I do know that it took me time and development to be able to see auras again when I got older. It was not impossible, just a task that needed to be relearned.

What is given to us freely when we are young and accepting can be harder to attain once we close the door on it. This is true in all things and on all planes. The door can be reopened through understanding, patience, and love.

I would now like to talk to those who have had things' happen to them that they don't understand. This does not happen too often, and is usually connected with another spirit that has a link to you in one way or another. Usually if a spirit is haunting it is a house or object and not a person. However, spirits are around us at all times and have been known to attack the weak. Most of these spirits are what we call earth bound spirits' and are not strong. They are stuck here because they have not learned what they need to know before they can move on. As such, they take great interest in the lives of humans, attracted by the bodies they no longer have. There have been cases of possession, however, these only come to a person of weak spirit, or the weak minded. If you feel you have this problem you need to seek help.

There are those who delve into things that they do not understand, and defy any spirit to stop them. This is foolish. Do not get involved with something you do not understand. For most these words are unnecessary, however, for you that read this and understand, take a kind warning. Ouija Boards are not a game, and should not be played' with. For those who seriously wish to speak with spirits through this medium there are books to give you proper protection; use them. I do not suggest going this route, but judge no one their methods on the path. Each must go down their own way. There is much negative energy in this world, call it to yourself and it will come, have no doubt. Therefore, be careful what you ask for, as you may get it and then not know how to get rid of it.

Finally, there are psychic attacks. I have been attacked myself more than once. However, know that these attacks only come when you are aware and strong, and able to deal with them. They come from people who are using their powers in a negative way. Be assured those who use the power they attain in a negative way will pay, not only through karma, but through the loss of their power. Do not fear these attacks, because they will not come unless you are prepared for them spiritually. It is not a reason to stop learning. They usually only come when one is ready to take a role of guiding, and are a good exercise at that time to abolish any fears you have of the spiritual.

If you feel that you have been attacked, do not seek revenge. What you can do, which is quite effective, is send back the energy that was sent to you. If you don't know how to do this, don't worry, it is because you don't need to know yet, and aren't being attacked. If you do know how to do this be careful that you are only sending back what you were sent, and not intermixing your own energy with it.

If you are starting on the path you don't have to worry about most of the above. If you are further down the path and want more information on the above you can e-mail me at the address shown on the web site.

Any time you let fear enter on the spiritual plane you will slow yourself, and your progress down. Sometimes there are choices we are made aware of through the spirit, and we turn off the voice within' because we don't want to make those choices. This generally causes far greater problems and leads to negative experiences, which are necessary sometimes to teach the lesson that needs to be learned. Know that sooner or later the voice will be heard, and the choice will be presented again, although probably not in exactly the same way. Know that you cannot run away from yourself, or the lessons that need to be learned. Listen and meditate. Nothing will be given to you that you can't handle. The only time that happens is when we seek things, and throw ourselves into things, that we know we shouldn't, but do it anyway.

There is a song here that comes to mind whose words are very appropriate; "If the signposts are down, the signals are flashing and the whistle is blowing in vain; if you stay on the tracks, ignoring the facts, you can't blame the wreck on the train".

The only true fear that one has to consider is fear of self. The only person who can truly hurt you, slow you down, or stop your progress is you. The body does not matter, for the spirit continues long after it is gone. When we have overcome the fear of death, our spirit can be free to become one with the universe. These bodies are only given for a very short time, and yet we protect them as if they are going to go on forever, not taking the time to prepare for certain death by advancing the spirit.

The fears I have covered are not nearly complete. I have tried to give a general broad idea, but each of us is unique, and if I have not hit upon your button' it is of no consequence, as you know what it is, and that is all that is needed. You can handle it the same as the rest, as there is a general formula for dealing with fears; great or small, on all three planes.


HOMEWORK;


1. Make a complete list of your fears, from small to great. List your fears on all three planes. You will probably find that some of your fears overlap the different planes, which just means that these are more significant and will need extra work. You will find, however, that once you have dealt with it on one plane, it will be easier to deal with on the other planes.

2. Starting with the least, list all the reasons you have for sustaining your fear. Do this with all the fears you listed on all the planes. Understand the fear, and reason with your mind concerning the fear. Face the fear and work through it. Under- stand that this does not mean you will never experience it again, as this is an ongoing pro- cess. However, you can overcome it one step at a time and control your own actions, rather than allowing the fear to control you. Start with the root of the fear and reason it away.

3. Move through the list and take as much time as you need for each one. Some will be easy and some will be much more difficult.

4. When you reach your final fear, which should be your greatest, take your time and work methodically and carefully. If you are like most, it will be the fear of death. Usually this fear is not so much of the act of death, but what happens after- wards. It is more a fear of the unknown.

As a final comment I would like to quote Mark Twain a very great writer; "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear". I think that this quote sums it all up pretty well.....