"PATIENCE"
Patience is not something that we are born with, but
rather learn to develop. In fact, if you stop and think about
it the act of birth teaches us anything but patience. From
the time of birth we are struggling to get out as quickly as
possible, and for most people things don't change that
much as we grow.
Very young children want merely to be a big boy' or a
big girl', while adolescents want to be teenagers, and
teenagers long to be adults. Once adulthood is reached,
most just want to stop time and retain the youth they now
see quickly slipping away. For most, there is no longer a
desire to grow older, but to grow younger, as is
experienced by what we call a mid-life crisis.
The point is, we are always in a hurry to get
somewhere we are not, and when we reach that point we
run even quicker to grab hold of another goal, and rush in
that direction. We have all lost many enjoyable
experiences merely because we cannot learn to enjoy
where we are at the moment. If we could learn that, and
use it in our everyday lives, think of the change it would
make in our perceptions. There would be no need to even
speak of patience, because there would be no hurry or
rush for anything, merely enjoyment of each moment.
However, if this were a perfect world (which it is not),
and we were perfect beings, that is how things would be.
Since this is not a perfect world, and there are few of us
that even remotely enjoy each and every moment of our
lives, we will now talk about patience, or the lack thereof,
which we call impatience.
Patience is felt on all three planes, as are all the other
emotions. We become impatient on the physical plane
because we desire material possessions, now. We have
become the right now' society that requires instant
gratification. I think that this has something to do with our
technology today. People no longer take a horse, but
travel in cars. When traveling people fly and get places
that were unattainable 100 years ago. What took
Columbus, Magellan and Ponce De Leon months and
years to reach can now be reached in a matter of hours.
Even the mail has reached unbelievable speeds with
computers and e-mail. I can send a message around the
world in a matter of seconds, rather than days.
It only follows suit then that our mental patience
would be at an all time low. With all of the advances in
technology, in the computer field alone, all of us are
striving to keep up on a daily basis. Just when you think
you have a handle on it, you find that your knowledge is
obsolete and yesterday's news. Things we had to
research for days, weeks, months are now at the touch of
a fingertip. Encyclopedias which were only bought by the
wealthy, are now for everyone with easy affordable access
to the Internet. Knowledge is at an all time high, and it is
available to anyone with a desire for access.
Spiritually, people are searching more now and being
more open minded then ever before. There is no longer a
desire for all people to believe in one way or one religion,
but acceptance and tolerance is being preached in all
religions. I remember a time growing up when all religions
felt that they were the way to the truth and great rewards,
with each feeling that they were the ONLY way. This has
changed, as people have changed, and accepted different
perceptions.
You might ask where all this is leading. Well, we
have covered all three planes above, and shown some of
the reasons on each that the general population has a
lack of patience. In days gone by people either had
patience, or lived in total frustration all the time. You have
heard that ignorance is bliss', well we are no longer an
ignorant society, if for no other reason than the total
media saturation. Even if some of the information is
incorrect, we all at least have an idea of what is going on
in the rest of the world at all times. There are numerous
ways to discover this, and by watching, listening, and
reading various perceptions we get a general idea of news
around the world. Now you ask; what does this have to
do with patience? Everything, is my answer. The mind is
like a computer; the more we know the more questions we
have, the more impatient we are for the answers, and the
quicker we want change to occur.
Most of this is an illusion, in that just knowing what is
going on does not mean that we can change it. We can
only change ourselves, as always. Even reading about
the news tends to make us impatient. We read things that
have totally obvious solutions, and yet nothing seems to
be done toward solving the problems. Sometimes it
seems as if people in power only talk about problems and
placing blame, rather than solving them. This makes for a
generally impatient society, which leads to an overall
impatience being accepted worldwide.
Every commercial you see on television, read in the
paper, or hear on the radio; in some way tries to promise
instant gratification, because they know that is what the
masses want. Diets are the clearest culprits in these
campaigns, but are just the tip of the iceberg. How many
people have bought diet books, plans, videos, or joined
groups' because they have been promised instantaneous
results. The truth is that it took time to put the weight on,
and it will take time to take it off. There is no instant
miracle drug that is going to take off weight without proper
diet and exercise. This is the bottom line, and yet people
succumb day after day, week after week, month after
month and year after year to these phony promised
results, usually only to gain all the weight back the
moment they realize that the promised miracle' cure is
really only hard work and proper diet.
The same goes for clothes, cars, and any other
material possessions which are advertised. You don't
hear advertisers saying, take your time, make a decision
after you have thought about it;' I don't think so.... The
reason I am laying this groundwork is to let you know what
you are susceptible to each day of your life. These things
all add to people being impatient. Most of the time it isn't
even really a hurry to get somewhere, as much as it is to
get away from something else. While we are diving
headlong into the things we want, and looking for ways to
obtain them, we aren't looking at what is going on in our
lives. We aren't facing problems, or working through old
garbage that needs to be dealt with. Many people spend
a majority of their lives running from themselves or
chasing themselves in circles.
Let's really take a look at the way patience can help,
and impatience can hinder, on those three separate
planes. I will start with spirituality. This seems to be the
plane where people have the least amount of patience.
For some reason, we all have no problem with
understanding that it takes about 13 years of our lives to
get a high school education (some more, some less, but
on an average 13). Even after we have attained a high
school education most of us are not prepared to go out in
the real world and get a job. Therefore, it is perfectly
normal, and expected, that most people will want to go on
to college. The first two years of college is spent getting a
general education, with very little specialization involved.
After this another two years is spent studying for your
profession, and then after four years you get your first
degree. Now, many people go on for their next degree.
This is perfectly normal, and totally accepted by our
society. After this, often people go on to get an advanced
degree which may take another 2-4 years more,
depending on the field.
You might ask, what I am getting at by laying out a
very obvious groundwork that we have all been exposed
to most of our lives? Well, my question is; if we all totally
accept and acknowledge that it takes at least 13 years to
get a minimum education, and usually another four, at
least, to get a decent education, with 2-6 more added for
an advanced degree of mental knowledge, why do we all
expect our spiritual learning to be done within a matter of
hours, days and weeks (better not push it and go into
months)? You might say, that is a totally ridiculous
expectation. I agree, but true none the less.
I cannot tell you how many people have worked on
their spirituality, and after trying to meditate a couple of
times, maybe even shooting for a week, come back and
say they just can't do it. When I explain to them that it
takes time, and practice, most are discouraged and
unwilling to put more effort into it.
Am I missing something here? We are willing to
learn about dangling participles, but unwilling to spend
five minutes a day clearing our minds? What I hear in
return is "I will try". There is no such thing as try. You
either do it or you don't. There is such a thing as
practicing until you are able to accomplish your goal, but
this has totally different connotations then the word try'
and implies a commitment to achieving the set goal.
You might say that this has no place in the patience
chapter, but that is just where it belongs. The reason
people give up is not because they don't give it a try', but
because they don't have the patience to keep practicing.
It takes hard work and commitment, just like that
education did. No one just handed you a diploma
because you tried'. You either passed the courses, or
you didn't. Have you ever seen a diploma with the grade
tried' on it? I don't think so...
Now the question; why do we think that spirituality
should come more easily and quickly then a mental
education? Could it be because we hadn't given it much
thought before, but now that we think about it we decide
that it shouldn't be that difficult. After all, we are all spirits
inhabiting bodies; we were spirits first so being spiritual
should be easy, right?; bzzzzzz wrong answer. We have
spent our entire lives, from the time we came out of the
womb forgetting how to be spiritual and learning how to be
physical. The first year is spent learning everything we
can about our new environment, and that is only the
beginning.
It isn't just school, a lot of learning goes into life
before we ever walk through the doors of a school room at
the age of five. By the time we have entered that
classroom environment we have learned how to eat, drink,
measure time, colors, walk, talk, relate to our families, and
even have an idea of how to make friends. The list goes
on and on. It has been intense study, whether we realized
it or not. The learning never stopped, as our minds were
like sponges and absorbed everything our five senses
gave it. There was one thing that was not encouraged
during that time for most of us, and that is the use and
development of the sixth sense.
Even for those of us who knew there was more, and
tried to tell our parents, most of the time it was ignored by
the parents or thought to be the imagination of the child.
Without encouragement the things that came so naturally
were not developed and lay dormant. Now we come into
adulthood, realize somewhere along the way we missed
the boat, because all that education cannot make you
happy, or give you peace of mind. We start to look for
what is missing, and find this whole part of us that has laid
dormant for so long, just waiting to be used and
developed. However, we are adults now and expect the
usage of these skills to have grown as fast as our mental
aptitude has because we have already put in the years of
study. The problem is that the years of study that were
put in had nothing to do with the spiritual, but related only
to the physical.
Most people don't want to accept that they are
virtually starting over from scratch to learn things they
should have learned as children. There is no one to
blame, which is the first thing to understand. Blame is
useless and a waste of time, unless it serves a purpose.
Fixing the situation, and if that means realizing that while
you may have a doctorate degree in English, it does not
mean that you know how to control your emotions, or that
you have dealt with the excess baggage in your life. It
also does not give you a degree in spirituality or
meditation. This can be a very humbling experience, but
sometimes we need that to understand just how little we
really know.
Learn patience. This is not going to come overnight,
unless you are willing to lock yourself in a room and do
nothing but study and meditate for the next year waiting
for enlightenment. Perhaps it could be done in a year of
intense study, depending on how devoted one is.
However, to be more realistic, it takes time to learn these
things. Take one step at a time, the next step will be
revealed to you as you accomplish the step before. The
reward of patience is the success of reaching your goal.
Always remember, when you are the most impatient it is
usually because the answer is right around the next
corner. Stop now and you will never know that answer,
and will probably have to start further back and work your
way forward, because you have put a new obstacle in
your way.
A person can learn as fast, or slow as they want.
Without patience the learning process can be slowed
considerably, and even halted. Give yourself time, and
the understanding, you would give another. Don't TRY
just keep practicing until you are able to accomplish what
you have set as a goal. Do not compare your progress to
that of others. It matters not in the long run where
someone is on the path, only where you are. Wherever I
am has no bearing on your life, only on my life. When you
learn to have patience with your own inabilities and
shortcomings, you will also learn to have patience with
others. It enables us to be tolerant of the beliefs of others,
even if we don't agree with them. By accepting
someone's beliefs, does not mean that we take them as
our own, only that we understand what they are saying
and understand that it is what they believe. It also does
not invalidate our own beliefs.
There are people who cannot understand this. I have
had many people tell me that I was not listening to what
they were saying or understanding their beliefs, because
surely if I was I would have to agree.
Some people are driven crazy if all don't agree and
validate what they believe in. I question whether the
people who feel this way are truly secure in their beliefs.
One who is secure in their belief realizes that belief is
something that cannot be taken away from you, only
something that you give up for one reason or another.
Someone could kill you physically, but still be unable to
touch your belief system, which you would take with you
even into physical death.
I have said all of this to emphasize how important it is
to have the patience, and commitment, to work on your
spiritual growth. If you are not growing you are
stagnating. The only way to grow is to spend time
studying, seeking truth, and practicing the things you need
in order to advance on the path.
We have spoken of the patience it takes with
ourselves concerning our growth, but now I would like to
take a moment to explore the patience we need to have
with others concerning spirituality. In the end we are all
going to the same place, but how we get there, and by
what vehicle we travel, makes each of us unique and
special beings. We each have our own special
perceptions of life, and no two people view life exactly the
same way. Understanding that no one's beliefs but our
own matter, as far as our trip down the path, should help
us have patience and tolerance for others walking that
same road. It matters not where on the road one is, we
each are seeking the same thing; enlightenment.
I have heard many say there is only one truth' and to
this I would agree. However, I believe that there is one
truth for each individual, and your truth may not be my
truth. For example, I am a vegetarian. I have not always
been so, but came upon this part of the path almost two
years ago. It is right for me, and was right at the time I set
foot on this section of the path. Does that mean that I
believe that people who eat meat are wrong' or not
walking in the light? Absolutely not. What it means is that
it is right for me at this time in my growth. I have no right
to say it is what all must do, because each person has to
come upon their own truth. Whether or not you eat meat
has no bearing on my path, or my growth down the road.
Does this make my being a vegetarian of no consequence
and unimportant, absolutely not? To me it is important, so
for me it is my truth, and the right thing for me to do.
Does this make your truth any less important for you, or
do I judge you for not adopting my truth?; absolutely not.
It does not make it any less truth for me, but makes it
no more truth for you. The reason I have gone down this
avenue with patience is because we seem to lack
patience with others, as much as we lack it with ourselves,
when it comes to spirituality. It seems that we each have
a problem listening to the words of others without trying to
convert them to our own beliefs. If they will not heed our
words then we argue, and whether realizing it or not
diminish our beliefs by trying to push them on to others.
Whether you believe the words I write and take them
to heart is up to you. It does not make them any more
true, or any less true. If they are for you then, you will
embrace them and realize that. If they are not for you,
they will have no meaning and you will merely glide
through them without thoughts one way or another. If the
words are striking a chord within, you might even become
angry and want to throw the paper down and not read any
further (I will hope you have downloaded them and are not
throwing your computer screen on the floor...).
The point is, that we need to have patience with
others where ever they are on the path and give them the
space they need. Listen to the words of others, and have
patience with them, and where they are. Don't try to
convert' them to your way of thinking, which doesn't mean
you can't explain where you are. Just be willing to listen
to where they are, without judging them or telling' them
how wrong they are.
Learning patience does not mean that we give up on
a goal, or shift to an easier one that is more quickly
attainable. Patience assures us that we will reach our
goal, but perhaps not in the time frame we have laid out
for ourselves. When we learn patience, we also learn
many valuable lessons along the path to our goal that we
otherwise would not have learned. I am sure that we have
all heard the phrase "stop and smell the roses". In a way
this is a big part of patience, learning to do just that. In
the process we will find out things we otherwise would
have skipped over. Learning patience means that we
recognize the fact that there truly are no quick fixes.
Everything happens for a purpose, and if we stop long
enough to find out what that purpose is, it will enhance our
path and prepare us for the next lesson.
Let's take the next plane of existence, the mental,
and talk about what patience means there. Our society is
not happy with pushing the adults any longer, now we are
passing this impatience along to our children at earlier
and earlier ages. We have entered the yuppy generation,
and as such the children have suffered the most. There is
no time to have patience with their lives and problems,
because there is no time for patience with our own.
Everything is being hired done. When this happens
time' becomes a big issue. No one wants to pay for
anything less than speedy and positive results. The
results don't have to be fantastic, but they have to be
speedy in coming. As a result, those that we hire to take
care of our children might have a short supply of patience
because of the demand for speed and efficiency. Beware
of this, and remember it is more important to have a
patient person teaching your child and nurturing them,
then it is to have an Einstein.
As a result of this yuppies phenomenon putting
children in pre-school has become as much a status
symbol as buying an expensive car. Many people put
their children on a waiting list before the child is even
born. You say, well is this so wrong, the parent only
wants what is best for the child. Do they?, or do they want
what looks best for them? Children are being pushed
younger and younger to learn and achieve. Do we really
think this is healthy for the child? Is it healthy for the
parent? The child is going to learn one way or another,
but the way they learn and the emphasis and pressure put
on them to learn will last a lifetime. So what if the child
reads faster, does math faster and even gets through
school faster? Does this truly prepare them for the real
world? What is being done to prepare children
emotionally? Do we care about their emotional well
being?
Many are already sending small children into therapy.
Is therapy a substitute for parental love, nurturing and
patience? Whether Johnny can build a better mousetrap
by the time he is 10 is not nearly as important as making
sure he is not the sniper on the rooftop of the economics
building at 17. Look at the root of this, and you will find
impatience married to a life of emotional neglect. We all
realize that no matter how much we screw up as parents
our child is going to learn to walk, talk, and do all the
things that other children do. The time frame is what
becomes an issue. What motivates us to want to change
a time frame that has been handed down for generations,
impatience and wanting our child to be special'. Just
because our child might learn faster does not make him
smarter, or necessarily in a better position to cope with
life.
Some argue that children make their own decisions,
and if it is too much they will stop themselves. I can tell
you right now that children will do anything to please their
parents and make them proud' of them. There are many
unhappy adults today in careers that were chosen for
them by their parents for this very reason.
I am talking about this because I believe that deep
down each of us wants what is best for our children. I
don't believe that what the parent feels is best for the
child/adult is necessarily what the son/daughter want in
their own life. Since the ultimate desire of a parent is to
have a happy, well adjusted adult son/daughter who are at
peace with themselves, then having patience and listening
should be our key attributes to raising children.
Once again, I would like to point out that a person's
intelligence is only important to that person. If you think
that people admire you for your brains', then you need to
take your mental acuity and apply it to the psyche of
others. People rarely are happy' for someone more
intelligent then they are, but there are definite emotions
involved. How you bring out those reactions' from others
depends on how bright you truly are about listening to
others, and understanding what they are feeling.
I have always been a smart' person, in that learning
and understanding have never been a problem for me.
However, I understand the pain and frustration for those
that have problems in this area. At a young age I started
tutoring other children who had learning disabilities, and
learned first hand their pain and frustration. I believe that
if a person is truly intelligent they will fit into whatever
surroundings they are thrown into. For instance if I am at
a dinner party filled with professional intelligent people,
then I will speak the language they are accustomed to. If I
am talking with street people, I will speak the language
they are accustomed to. If I am going to a hockey game, I
will speak the language they are accustomed to, etc. This
does not mean that I will cuss like a drunken sailor (only a
phrase, it is not to intimate that I think all sailors are
drunks or cuss). However, it does mean that I will not
speak down to anyone, or try to impress anyone with my
knowledge of the English language. It also means that I
will have patience with those who have trouble
communicating, not correct them, nor try to finish their
sentences for them, and especially not put words in their
mouths. It means that I will have the patience to listen,
and understand, what they are saying from their
perspective, rather than my own.
The best example I can think of for this comes from,
as usual, experience. My husband is a very intelligent
person with the IQ of a genius (golly, guess that makes
him special'...hmmmm...NOT). When I met my husband I
noticed that he was using what one would call the ten'
dollar words, throwing them out just to see if any stuck, so
to speak. I ignored this, and threw the words right back.
Once he realized that I understood, and spoke the
language, he calmed down and quit trying to impress me.
His uncle caught up with me at a family picnic and said
that he would like to personally thank me. I asked him
what he was thanking me for. He said that for years no
one in the family had been able to understand anything
that my husband was talking about, but since he met me
he was speaking English down to earth' so that the family
could understand him. I laughed at this, but he had made
a good point.
There were many reasons for this behavior. Some,
the more obvious, were ego, but more important I think
was a lack of being understood. When he found
someone who understood him and was able to speak' his
language, he also began to understand how important it
was to make others understand you. It takes patience to
deal with others who are starting out, even on the mental
journey. I believe, unless physically impaired, that all
people are capable of learning. Some people learn at
different rates. To some it is easy and comes naturally, to
others it is much harder and has to be fought for every
step of the way. However, it is when people give up, and
feel that they have learned all that they need to, want to,
or are capable of, that the learning process stops, on all
three planes.
The thing that can get us over the humps, and keep
us learning is patience, with ourselves and with others.
Instead of being jealous of someone who is intelligent,
know that you can be just as intelligent if you work at it. I
believe that there must be balance on all three planes.
Therefore, everyday I do mental exercises the same way
most people do physical exercises. The first step to
learning is understanding that you are the only obstacle in
the way of your progress. The second step is to learn
patience, understanding that time is an illusion, and there
is no such thing as try', only practice until you get it right.
Patience on this plane is very important, as you can
see. The patience needs to be applied to your everyday
life. You will run across people more or less advanced
than yourself, and patience on both sides of the issue is
very important. The people you work with, the people who
have service oriented jobs, such as customer service,
repair, food service, auto repair, and the list goes on and
on. If you intimidate someone, or try to make them feel
inferior, it does not elevate your own standing, and will
cause you much difficulty as far as the end results go.
However, if you have patience and treat each person as
you would want to be treated, then the results will be
different and getting there will be much more pleasant.
When you are thrown into a new situation evaluate it.
See where the person you are dealing with is coming from
and then go there. Deal with them on their level without
making them feel that you are lowering your standards,
because you are not. Understand that impressing them
with your mental acuity is not really impressing them, but
rather confusing them and making them feel frustrated
and angry.
Impatience on the mental plane comes most quickly
when you are frustrated. It is in reality a Catch 22
situation. You become frustrated and impatient, but in
order to overcome this one needs to go back to being
patient. When we are being patient there is no room for
frustration because we are able to understand that all
things can be solved, it is only a matter of time, which
comes back to patience. For every problem there is a
solution, but the solution is much harder to come by if we
are impatient.
Let's take a look at the physical plane for a moment
and see what good patience can do for us there. We,
unfortunately, have been coined' as an instant
gratification' society. This simply means that people are
not willing to wait for things, but want them instantly.
As far as the material realities; this means that
instead of saving up for that item you wanted, we all
merely whip out a credit card and get it now'. We lose a
lot this way, because the building anticipation and feeling
of accomplishment once reaching our goal has been
replaced by a monthly payment (with interest). I am not
saying using credit cards are negative, I use enough of
them myself, but I am saying that it is partly responsible
for us becoming this instant gratification' society.
Physically we have always had at least one part of
our anatomy that we would like to have changed. Now
those changes are possible and encouraged. If we don't
like our nose, the surgeon (for a price) can give us a new
one. I am not saying that we should meditate or pray for a
new nose, but I am saying that it has stopped us from
accepting ourselves for who we are. Instead of getting
beyond the physical looks' (which will fade no matter who
you are or how much money you spend) and working on
the inner person, people are clamoring to change their
physical appearance.
The knife is not the only way to do this. There are
creams, contraptions to make our skin tighter, vacuums to
suck out fat, health clubs, diets, exercise equipment,
videos, and numerous other gadgets' marketed just for
the purpose of improving our physical appearance. I
could be wrong (have been before), but I feel that if the
time and money that was spent on improving our outer
layer was applied to the inner person there would be no
need to fix up' the body, because that is not what we
would be seeing.
People have very little patience with their bodies. It
may have taken them years to get into the shape their
body is in, but they want it changed instantly. The experts
tell us that the only way to change our weight is by eating
a low-fat sensible diet and exercising. This, however, is
not the advice that sells', nor is it what we want to hear.
There is no patience on the part of the individual, and they
do not want to wait for results.
As a result of this lack of patience, there are people
running around trying every new diet, exercise machine
and scientific breakthrough', in an attempt to have the
body that society has told us is ideal'. What are the
results of all this money, time and energy spent. Well,
sometimes depending on how much weight the person
has to lose, there is an instant difference. However, this
change does not last and statistics show that most people
who lose weight this way gain it all back plus more
poundage.
Let's look at what this does to us emotionally. People
who feel inferior and don't accept themselves generally
tend to eat more for comfort. I am not coming to this
without personal experience. I am an obese person (just
means I am very fat). I have accepted myself for who I
am. I love my body and every ounce of fat, as it is part of
me. I do not care what others think about my fat. I am
not ashamed of my fat, nor do I use it as a crutch to get
sympathy. I am a whole person and as such have been
accepted by most people. There are always going to be
those who are ignorant, insecure and enjoy ridiculing and
taunting fat people. However, these are the same people
generally who have many other prejudices concerning
physical appearance. Prejudice is one of those things
that we have all experienced to one degree or another. It
does not stop with the color of the skin, it only starts there
and works its way down. I have been dealing with those
who are prejudiced against fat for years. I have come to
the realization that another word for prejudice is;
insecurity and ignorance. Bearing those things in mind it
is easy to have patience and deal with people who are
rude and insensitive.
Having patience with the actions of others cannot
come until we learn to have patience with ourselves. It is
like all other things. What do we have to compare it to.
We are our own measuring stick. As much as I love
myself is as much capacity for love that I am capable of.
Once we learn to have patience we slow ourselves
down; spiritually, mentally and physically. This gives us
time to think and act rather than react. You might think
that this slows down the processes, but in reality it speeds
things up. Rather than grabbing the first solution that
comes along we give ourselves time to weigh all the pros
and cons and pick the best solution. Once we pick the
best solution, the problem is solved and we won't have to
keep going back to find solutions for other problems that
arose from our first bad' decision.
When we learn this patience with ourselves we will
then automatically start applying it to others. Not only will
this work with people, but with situations. In work you will
be looked at as the calm person with good logical advice
that all can come and talk to freely. At home you will
become the peace maker and the one that is in touch'
with yourself and relationships. Imagine how you would
feel if all the people you had dealings with were calm,
listened to everything you said and before jumping in
weighed what they were going to say? The words coming
out of their mouths would be those of wisdom and
encouragement with solutions to problems rather than
blame, innuendo and ignorance.
You can affect this change in your life. You cannot,
once again, change others. However, when you change
you attitude toward others and present a patient and calm
persona people will react' to this in a much more positive
way. Therefore, you have affected more of a change than
you can imagine. You may not see the results today or
tomorrow, but with patience you will see the overall affects
forever.
HOMEWORK;
For one week talk to different people about
spirituality. Instead of jumping in with your thoughts,
ideas and beliefs, listen to theirs. Listen with patience and
understanding. Give them the right to their beliefs,
realizing that it does not invalidate yours. Be open
minded and tolerant of their views, without being critical or
opinionated.
For one week be patient with those who are not on
the same wave length you are on. In other words if you
have someone at your work or in a relationship whose
lack of mental acuity drives you crazy, become patient
with this person. If you have to explain things once or a
hundred times, do it with kindness and patience. Try to
look for other means of communication to help this person
understand what you are saying. Don't talk down to them
or patronize them, but reach to where they are and
explain things in a way that they will understand. This
may take some thought on your part and even some
research into the best way to deal with them. Understand
that it takes more mental acuity to know how to deal with
people and help them to understand us, then it does to
dismiss them and ridicule their lack of understanding.
For one week have patience with the physical
appearance of others. Do not make disparaging
comments to yourself or others about the outward
appearance of those you see. Learn to be happy with
your appearance. If buying yourself a new outfit will make
you feel better do that, but don't start anything that will
take a physical change, such as exercise and diet. Look
in the mirror everyday and learn to love and accept your
body for what it is. Don't be afraid to love your fat, it is
part of you. Love whatever part of you that you presently
don't like. Look specifically at this part everyday in the
mirror and tell yourself that you love your nose, eyes,
mouth, fat, cellulite or whatever it is that you now find
repulsive.
Write down your feelings and experiences from each
of these exercises in your journal. By the way if you have
any interesting stories that happen and you would like to
share them, e-mail them to me.